Why don’t people speak up and tell the truth? Why don’t they rebel? Isn’t it just abusive minority controlling bigger portions of the population?
Well, commanding an army is one part of the answer, but this page starts with „Psychology” for a reason.
Have you ever experienced the dynamics of a toxic workplace or (hopefully not!) family? Imagine a manipulative, controlling (or even disordered) boss. Or the prom queen gossip girl from any American teen movie. Or mother from the „Mommie dearest” memoir of an abusive childhood.
How many people in such circumstances speak out against the lies and the manipulation, and reach out to those who are the victims?
Not many. And there’s a reason for that. You need to practice robust truth-seeking and independence traits to stand up to the abusers when they really give you hell. Most people that would have been genuinely well-meaning hide away, start believing the lie or dismiss any signs of the toxicity just to „win” their own fragile peace.
Can you blame them? Yes. But it’s better to educate and lead by example.
Learning about dramatic personality disorders makes you wander around all spaces on quora, and here is an extensive analysis of a toxic group by Conner Wood – „The circle of slaves”. It deals with a workplace where the boss is a narcissist (and I do not wish that on anyone, however, I can now report from hell myself, and I’m impressed by the accuracy of Conner’s work):
Who can you find there?
– Followers, who trust the boss and always side with him (Remember, abusers are charming!)
– Flying monkeys (named after the Wizard of Oz story) who execute the boss’s orders without questioning them, in hopes for favors
– Tongue biters, who keep silent out of fear
– Pawns that are innocent and blind, and give the abuser the benefit of doubt whenever questioned
– Excusers that excuse the abuse
– Dismissers that prefer not to see
– Those without empathy or integrity that just want an easy life
– Those favored by the abuser and rewarded with glory for obedience…
Have you met any of them? Have you dealt with a toxic workplace?
Fighting for freedom is hard at the core – because of the sad conditioning of the human mind in face of an actual controlling abuser. We see it under the microscope, we would see the same under the boot.
What you should do? Speak up when you see someone being treated unfairly just because someone else needs to gain control. Expose the liars. Take a few steps back, think „this is not how you treat a person, why was I ever so charmed by this boss?” and TALK ABOUT IT.
The weaker people need to see YOUR example to follow. Otherwise, they will bite their tongues.